


Scruffy

by lalalalalawhy



Category: The Thrilling Adventure Hour
Genre: Dialogue-Only, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 10:25:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4475846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalalalalawhy/pseuds/lalalalalawhy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sparks decides to grow a beard because he thinks it makes him look tough. He doesn't tell Red or Croach that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scruffy

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Amazing OnusT3 art](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/133583) by Mansion. 



** **

_Image used with permission from[Mansion](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Mansion/pseuds/Mansion), who is amazing._

**DAY 1:**

“Sparks Nevada. I notice you have not shaved your facial hair this morning, as is generally your custom. It is fractionally longer than your usual facial hair, and growing ever longer. Is this a purposeful change in personal grooming habits?”

“What? No. I mean… yeah. I don’t know.”

“You cannot possibly not know. Are you planning to groom yourself or not? This is not a difficult question.”

“Why d’ya gotta say it like that, Croach? I groomed myself just fine this morning.”

“Yet your facial hair remains, Sparks Nevada. I merely inquire as to its permanence.”

“D’ya really gotta question… ugh. I don’t… Its permanence?”

“Yes, Sparks Nevada. Humans grow body hair at a rate of approximately 0.04 centimeters a day. Your facial hair is currently 0.06 centimeters long. This is unusual.”

“I gotta say, Nevada, you are looking a bit scruffier than usual.”

“Scruffier?? I don’t… You know what? I don’t have to deal with this. I have work that’s gotta get worked on and I am going to go and do that.”

“Sparks Nevada, would you like us to rouse you at an earlier hour tomorrow such that you might have time to groom yourself more thoroughly?”

“No!”

* * *

 

**DAY 2:**

“Sparks, are you truly devoted to growin’ that chinstrap into somethin’ fearsome?”

“What… is this about my beard again?”

“Ha! Beard? Maybe someday. Right now it’s about your scruff, which is just makin’ you look silly.”

“I do not look silly. I look _distinguished_.”

“Does distinguished signify a being with facial hair that is 0.04 centimeters longer than it was yesterday, bringing the total length to 0.1 centimeters? Because if so, you are that.”

“I am distinguished. Not just because of the beard, but I think I’m pulling it off!"

"...Do you guys think I’m pulling it off?”

“You do you, Nevada. You do you.”

* * *

 

**DAY 3:**

“Sparks Nevada. Your facial hair has grown to the length of 0.13 centimeters, which is merely 0.03 centimeters longer than yesterday’s length.”

“That so, Croach?”

“Do not be alarmed, Sparks Nevada. Some variation in growth rate is acceptable. Maintaining this general rate of growth over this number of days signifies that you are receiving all or most of the nutrients you need to maintain healthy hair growth.”

“Are you tryin’ to get me to thank you for making breakfast, Croach?”

“No, we are in a state of mutual onal equilibrium, and I do not require thanks for menial tasks. I am merely informing you of the state of your nutritional health as it relates to your hair growth.”

“Thanks for makin’ breakfast, Croach.”

“You are welcome, Sparks Nevada.”

* * *

 

**DAY 4:**

“I swear, Nevada, with each passing day your devotion to that chin warmer grows.”

“Aw, thanks Red. I am getting pretty fond of my own reflection.”

Red suppressed a scoff.

“Do you… do you like it?”

“Well, it don’t look as scruffy anymore. So that’s a nice thing.”

“You’re right, it is a nice thing. Thanks, Red.”

* * *

 

**DAY 5:**

“Hey Croach, how come you never told me how fast my hair was growin'?”

“I thought you knew, the Red Plains Rider.”

“Nope, no idea how fast it grows. It’s curly, so it’s kinda hard to tell.”

“You are correct, it may be hard to discern how quickly your hair grows… to one who is not a tracker. But, you are in luck, for that is my designation.”

“You sassin’ me, Blue One?”

“Never, Red One. Your hair grows at roughly the same rate as the hair of Sparks Nevada, but as it curls immediately, as you say, it may remain more or less unnoticeable to all whose powers of perception are not as high as mine. Your hair is also fuller than that of Sparks Nevada: you both have more individual follicles and possess a greater hair volume overall. It is also naturally less oily than that of Sparks Nevada, but that has no bearing on its natural luster, which is quite striking.”

“How d’ya know so much about human hair, Croach? You ain’t got none of your own.”

“My onal partners do possess hair, Red One. It is not difficult to perceive many of the details of the stratified squamous keratinized epithelium, which you call hair, from afar. Further, do you not remember the times in our shared childhood when I would style your hair into braids?”

“I do remember that. I just thought you liked braidin’.”

“I do enjoy the act of braiding hair, but I have not braided hair since the time that we shared as younglings.”

“Oh. Would ya… would ya like to?”

“I would be under onus to you if I were able to reenact the hair braiding ritual of our youth.”

“If you braid my hair, Croach, I will be under onus to you.”

“May I braid your hair, Red One?”

“Yes please, Blue One.”

* * *

 

**DAY 6:**

“Nevada, don’t look now, but I think you are finally on your way to an honest beard!”

“Sparks Nevada, your hair has continued to grow at a steady rate, meaning that now it is nearly 0.25 centimeters long.”

“Do you guys… do you think I should keep it?”

“Sparks Nevada, do not change your grooming behavior to fit our desires.”

“Yeah Nevada. Iff'n you like it you should keep it. Plus, I kinda like you a little scruffy.”

“I’m not scruffy. I’m distinguished.”

“Distinguished is not a texture with which I am familiar.”

“It’s not a… oh I see. You want to touch my beard. Go on then, touch it to your heart’s content.”

“Sparks Nevada, your facial hair is surprisingly soft.”

“He’s not wrong, Nevada! Nice and soft. I bet it would tickle a bit, though.”

“You think so?”

“What is this sensation of tickling of which you speak? And why are you making eye contact and smiling?”

“Ya know, Nevada, I’ve always found experience t’be the best teacher.”

“Red, I do believe you are correct. Let’s… do this.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you have tumblr, go give [this amazing art](http://shannondapper.tumblr.com/post/125590653016/red-interrupting-sparks-and-croachs-bickering-or) some love. Also, Day 5 owes literally everything to [this comic](http://friendship-canoe.tumblr.com/post/117477041037/antennae-page-1-page-2-page-3-page-4), which you should also DEFINITELY read for more Red/Croach childhood feels.


End file.
